Thursday, April 23, 2009

Finding Balance

I am happy to be alive. I am happy to be where I am in my life. My family is my greatest blessing. As you might guess, they are often my greatest source of stress as well. I am trying to be a better mom, wife, teacher, friend, example, sister, daughter, and really just a better me. I feel like I am falling flat on my face some days, but no matter that's just the way it is sometimes. I get to wake up every morning and give it another shot.

I think the thing that has been on my mind lately is finding balance and recognizing what I expect from myself and then determining if that is realistic. It usually isn't and that's why I am searching for that elusive balance I'm talking about. :) That's me though. I expect more out of myself than is usually possible and I think I do that to the people around me too. I need to take it easy on all of us. 

I had a couple of wonderful conversations with two dear friends yesterday. These are great women trying to do it all in life and still have time for themselves. They are women who love life and love being moms. Talking with them gave me strength to finish out a tough day. They helped me to see that I am doing a good job with my kids and that some things can wait. The greatest thing they did most for me was to help me feel normal; to know that feeling a tad bit crazy was okay. I & R, I love you both. You are great women - kindred spirits. 

I am really looking for things that have helped any of you to find a better balance in life. I love sharing ideas and hearing about things that have been successful for others. So please share with the rest of us crazies out there. What do you do that keeps you a little crazy but not yet certifiable?


LeAnn said...

I feel like I'm in the same boat. So much I want to do, but most of it comes at the cost of my kiddies, which I don't want.

So...while I'm not self diciplined enough to do this 100%, this is my plan right now, and it has been working:

Everything I REALLY want to do (gardening, sewing, running etc.), I give a certain amount of time each day or three times a week (whatever is most fitting) and I try really hard to stick to those times. None of it is enough time to do any of it as well as I would like, but it's still fulfilling and keeps my "desire fires" burning anyway. I think I'm the type of person who would rather do more of the things I like less, than just one of the things I like more.

Everything that will take too much time away from my kids and isn't as important for right now, are in my list of things to do when the kids are older and in school.

But about every season change I'm faced with a need to "find balance" again.

Summer Owens said...

Hey, I was just talking to Tom last night about my lack of balance in my life right now. I've been having an especially discouraging week. If I come up with any solutions I'll be sure to share. As it is, I plan on blogging about a couple little revelations I've made at

Ramona said...

My answer recently to trying to find balance is to just be "good enough". There is a great series of research about the "good enough" mother and how it is good for both moms and kids. So, here's to finding balance, peace, and joy in just being "good enough".

LaurieJ said...

Finding balance=less blogging at my house :-)

Ingrid said...

I love the "good enough" idea Ramona! If we keep from trying to be perfect or best in all things, we can be pretty darn good at many more things. I don't have to run marathons, keep a perfect house, make perfect meals, excel in every area of study, help my kids with the perfect science project, etc.

But I can be a consistent runner, 20 minutes a day, for now, that is good enough. I can home school Bridget and be good enough at that. I can be a good enough housekeeper and cook, a good enough reader, and I hope, I can be at least a "good enough" friend!

Thanks for great words of wisdom, all of you.

I also think I can find balance by prioritizing. If I am doing what matters most, then what matters least might fall by the wayside, but at least it is the things that matter least that do, not the other way around. Norm's mom used to say, "Never let what matters most be at the mercy of what matters least."

And, to finish up, a quote I just found:
“Living in the moment, yesterday is farther away than it used to be. And, so is tomorrow. They both matter less.” --Jan Denise

Unknown said...

I love the "good enough" idea. I have been really hard on myself lately feeling like I am falling short and I love all of your comments. They really help to put things in perspective for me. Thanks ladies.

lucy said...

It seems like a lot of us struggle with similar things. I try not to be so hard on myself but usually my kids are my indicators as to how I am doing. And I think you're kids are great thus you are probably on track. Let me know what you decide to do and how it works for you.

Andrea said...

I wish I could be more like my husband. He is way relaxed and it takes a lot to get him mad. I figure at the end of the day if my kids are fed, relatively clean, and had fun then it was a great day! I'd rather get less done and enjoy myself than check off everything on my list and be a stress case. Men are that they might have joy, right? We should be happy as we strive to be better, not happy that we are perfect. Because we're not.