learning to be still

I originally wrote a very long post explaining the last few months of our life and how we have been dealing with some difficult trials and disappointments. As I got ready to publish, I decided not to put it all out there. Let me just say this month has been an amazing one. I have learned things about myself and had to exercise my faith muscles more than ever before. The most difficult and wonderful thing I have experienced is the concept of being still. My personality is such that I like to be doing. I like to moving towards something, a goal, a plan, whatever. I like to get things done. That wasn't the way things went this time around. I got great advice from my mom and another dear friend that was so similar that I decided to test it out. I decided to be still and have faith that God is in charge. Guess what? He is. He is in charge. He is aware. He is in everything. And in my case He was just waiting for me to figure that out. Once I turned it over to Him, things were different. I continued packing but my mindset was different. I felt the Spirit as I packed. My home has been calm. I have witnessed the windows of heaven being opened up. Yesterday a wonderful couple came to the apartment and signed the lease for July 15. A miracle really. That's just what it is. A blessing from heaven. 

Jon and I celebrated our 14th anniversary yesterday. Fourteen years. We looked forward the next fourteen to realize our children will no longer be 8 and 12, but 22 and 26. I will be in a career and nearing 50. Jon will be past 50 and famous. :) Time never ceases to pass. But our life is blessed. We have everything we need and more. So much more. We have family far and near. We have friends dotting the globe. We are healthy, strong and happy. I don't know what more I could ask for in life. 

The next few months will be filled with great changes for our fam. But if you know anything about me, you now I don't mind change. I would say I even appreciate it, dare I say embrace it? I am excited for what lies ahead and what new adventures are in store. Mostly I am grateful. I am grateful to a Father who loves me and allows me to learn and struggle, always waiting in the wings for me to recognize Him. So patient.

I need to say thank you to everyone who had my family in their prayers or on the rolls at the temple or helped us move things to storage. It helped so much. I appreciate it immensely. As things get figured out, we'll keep you posted. So stay tuned for big changes.

We're Alive!

Breathe in, then out. Again. That's what I have been doing for the last few months. Trying to stay calm and levelheaded. The blog has suffered, but sanity is mostly intact. I may or may not get back posts done, but let me fill you in on the latest.

Jon graduated! He now has a Masters of Fine Art(MFA)! We're finished! Well... for a minute anyway. 

At commencement Jon was awarded a fellowship studio space for a year. The official award is MFA Fellowship Studio at the Bromo Seltzer Tower. I am certain many of you have no idea what the Tower is all about, so I'll do the work for you and you can just click here to see get the details. Basically he is given a studio space, rent free for 12 months. During the year, each month has an open-studio day where the public can come through the building, tour the studios, talk with the artists, see plays and purchase or commission art. It's a great opportunity and it gives Jon somewhere to paint besides the basement of whatever place we rent next. Of note: The building was modeled after the Palazzo Vecchio, an amazingly beautiful building we passed every day when we were in Florence, Italy. Talk about a place to be inspired!

See the similarity? Pretty neat.

So for today, know that we are alive. We're just packing, free-cycling, recycling, cleaning, planning, playing, working, looking, praying, hoping, helping, and loving life in general. In short, we're still here. Don't give up on us, that includes you Ms. Crane.

Snowed In

Last Friday a big storm system came through town. We were headed back from VA when it rolled in. It dropped nearly two feet of snow before it was finished. Then a few days later, another system blew through leaving maybe six inches more. And in the last 36 hours we got another 12+ inches.  Needless to say, we're not going anywhere for awhile. We haven't been going anywhere for the last five days.  Here's how the snow has effected us in that time:

church last week - cancelled
stake conference this week - postponed
power bill - doubled (as if it wasn't already scary enough)
MICA(Jon's school) - closed all but one day in the last seven
Members' night at the Nat'l Aquarium - cancelled
violin lessons - cancelled
youth basketball - cancelled
youth Temple trip - postponed
friends' birthday party - postponed twice
waistline - expanding
sense of time - gone

I feel like I have had five Saturdays in a row. I have to check my phone to see what day it is. It feels like Christmas break all over again. Is it really Thursday today?

This is a how we've been filling the hours...

snowshoeing around our neighborhood

the makings of a snowcave

homemade valentines

Et's neverending supply of legos

too many gingersnaps

games, games and more games

  

a couple of good books

watch instantly - as no movies are getting to us through the mail

we're memorizing the Gettysburg address and making homemade lightsabers

Et torturing Claudio with bionocles

In short, we've been getting up late, eating gallons of soup, reading, bundling into snow clothes for hours of outside play, reading, drinking gallons of cocoa, watching tons of movies, reading, playing games, doing little schoolwork and loving most every minute of it. I mean, how often are you truly snowed in?!

This is why

Some days I wonder why I homeschool my kids. I never planned it. It wasn't my dream. I'm not a super ambitious person who thought I could give my kids an "edge" by teaching them at home. Life threw me a curve ball when we moved to Baltimore. It made me look at things a little differently than I had in the past. It made me want to protect and shelter my short people more than I ever had before. I recognize all of that. Still..... there are options. I see that now more than I did initially. I could have done something else. I still could I guess.

I won't lie to you. It's tough. Sometimes it's bang-your-head-against-a-wall tough. I want to scream somedays. Heck, who am I kidding? I do scream somedays. But... still. I wake up every morning, put on my teaching cap and "go to work".

Today I remembered why. This is why.

Not the clearest picture, but you get the gist.

(Middle of the day, she finds the spent plumeria leaves and decides she wants to wear them while she finishes math. 

When they got too heavy, she moved on to a lion mask.)

For now, I am going to keep on doing what I do. I threaten to quit at least once a week, but I may never have the chance to spend this kind of time with my kids again. I love my shorties. So if you ever wonder why I do this every day just like I have for the past 15 months - now you know. This is why.

Favorite Friday is Back with the Avett Brothers

Last night Jon and I went to the Avett Brothers with our good friends the Fugals. I had listened to their latest album online and loved it. Some of their music is really mellow and others pumped up and a little rowdy. The concert - so PUMPED full of energy and totally fun! These guys were amazing!! There were four performers on stage. There are two "true" Avett Brothers, but three men make up the actual group, the third being a bassist - who also plays guitar and sings. The fourth fellow on stage played the cello like I have NEVER before seen! Both brothers played the piano, drums and guitars - acoustic and base and one played the banjo as well. Also they both do vocals.  We were on the balcony above the stage left. I could not have asked for a better view. They were incredible. Pictures never capture the energy in a situation like this, nevertheless, here are a few to take a look at captured via my phone.

Check out the cellist. He was crazy amazing.

You can listen to their music on their website. They have full albums you can stream but not download. Check it out.

Cousin Day @ the Zoo

We love the zoo. It's our little hangout. We had a great time sharing it with our cousins.

Not too sure about the carousel

I love this little person

Mads doing what she does best - tormenting Max

I love that we get to spend so much time with M&M. Its almost as though they are siblings not cousins. Lou is done having kids. I am done. E&E get to have the little brother and sister they never had and M&M get the same. Its a wonderful arrangement and I don't have to change diapers.

Garden Boxes of Bolton HIll

Check these beauties out! The window boxes - not the kids.

Sis in front of an urn filled with begonias and ivy.

Boxes are filled with petunias.

E getting lost in impatiens. Wow!

A Baltimore favorite - Sweet potato vines.

The residents of Bolton Hill really take pride in their homes. These are just a few of the sites to be seen where we walk everyday.

Daddy Daughter Date

Jon doing his best to pose like he did in HS. Sis so excited she's about to jump out of her own skin.

Daddy-daughter dates are the best!

Jon took Sis to dinner and then dancing at the annual DDDance in our LDS stake here. They really go above and beyond. I've never seen anything like it. The cultural hall aka gymnasium was transformed. There was a disco ball hanging from the ceiling. The floor had been made to look like cobblestones. The tables were set in a round and in the center was dancing.  They had a violinist playing during dinner and dance instructors to help afterwards.  They even got their pictures taken (just like HS) to take home.

At one point while they were dancing Jon said Sis was looking at her feet, counting out the steps and he reminded her to look up at him and not her feet, like the instructor had told them. When she looked up, she was beaming! He said he had never seen her so lit up. It was an absolutely magical night.

A Couple of New Ones

 

Just a few of Jon's latest for you to check out. The yellow one is small and red is much larger. Tremendous!

Ghost Bikes

Have you ever seen one of these? This was a first for me. Its called a "ghost bike". The week prior to taking this picture, a cyclist was killed at this intersection. Essentially, it is a memorial for the lost cyclist. It was sobering and touching to see it on this otherwise normal street.

When it Rains... It Pours

Baltimore is a great place to live. One of things I have liked the most this summer is the rain. It doesn't just rain here, it pours! Its like nothing I have ever seen, seen on a regular basis, that is. It goes something like this...

The clouds change. (Living downtown with buildings right next to each other makes it a little hard to see the great-big sky sometimes, but the light in our apartment changes and you know its coming.) It begins with a slight sprinkle which lasts about 15 seconds and then WHAM! Its like the clouds open right up and pour out everything they've got. It lasts a long time too. Its not like a normal cloudburst where it rains for 5 minutes and then slows to a sprinkle again. No, no. It unleashes copious amounts of rain for 30 minutes or more and then - done.

A few weeks back, we had the Elders over for dinner and as we were going down to the car for Jon to take them home, the cycle started. The clouds changed and within a very short time it was pouring. I really don't know what came over me, but I suddenly had the urge to get soaking wet.

Ingrid - I missed you so so much. I knew you would be out there with me, stomping in the puddles, dancing with arms wide open.

(I apologize for the wet t-shirt like pics that follow. If you are easily offended, do not continue reading.)
As it was, Sis was the only taker. Initially she couldn't believe what I was doing, but she came around and we spent a good 40 minutes in a torrential downpour. The alley behind our house was streaming with ankle deep rainwater. We were, quite literally, soaked to the skins. She kept turning to me saying, "Mom this is the best time of my life! I want to remember this forever."

When E arrived home with Jon he came out and played bringing Jack along. It just kept on raining and raining and raining. I have to say, it was one of the most carefree things I have done in ages. I felt like a kid again. And when all was said and done, after warm showers and clean jammies, my kids went to bed with smiles on their faces and loads of new memories in their precious brains.