Scrapple

I came across this in the grocery store not long ago. My guess is many of you have never heard of it. Lucky you. Apparently it finds its roots here in the East ~ Pennsylvania Dutch I think. Its kind-of gray-ish in color. I'm all about not wasting, but some things just should not be. Scrapple is one of those things. (This food came about so certain parts of the pig after butchering wouldn't be wasted.) Yummy! The pic isn't great so I will list as many ingredients as I can before throwing up.

Pork stock

Pork

Pork livers

Pork skins

Yellow corn meal

Pork hearts

Whole wheat flour

Pork tongue

Salt

Buckwheat flour

Sodium Citrate

Sodium Diacelate?

White flour

Spices

Dextrose

Flavoring

If you really want to know more about it, read this. Enough said.

First Court of Honor

We had a fun time tonight at E's first Court of Honor. He was able to go to Scout camp this month and was excited to get his first merit badges, first aid and photography. There were only two boys in attendance as Youth Conference was this week as well. He is just one requirement short of his Tenderfoot, three from Second Class and halfway through his First Class.

I have to say how daunting this all seems to me. Its one more thing to do in an already busy life, but as I see how much he is learning and growing, I know its all worth it. A friend in the ward has been really terrific in helping me figure things out and giving me tips about making it more E's responsibility and less mine. We are figuring out how we can incorporate it in our daily schedule & school curriculum to make it more doable, less crazy.

I have to I am so proud of him. He is a really terrific kid and I feel lucky to be his mom. Oh, funny thing... When he was saying the closing prayer/blessing on the refreshments he said something to the effect of, "bless the refreshments even though they really aren't good for us". People thought it was pretty funny. Where does he get it?

Sweat baby!!

I have been doing a new workout as of late and it's tough. The idea is different from previous programs I have done in that you lift VERY heavy weights with fewer reps instead of more reps and less weight. The "off" days from lifting are spent doing intense cardio in 3-5 one minute bursts, with plyometrics and endurance lifting in-between. If I were in better shape it might not be so difficult, but as it is, I am dying through these workouts. On one particularly brutal day after finishing my routine, I looked down at my mat and this is what I saw. That is my sweat!

Can I tell you how strong and able I felt?! It was like I could do anything. I pushed myself so hard and I had the sweat to prove it. It isn't just physically challenging, but absolutely mental as well. So I'll ask, what are you doing that challenges you these days? Physically? Spiritually? Emotionally? Intellectually? (I know being a mother does this for me everyday.) If you can't think of anything, or if the answer is nothing, step up and find something that stretches you to your limit and then push yourself one step further. You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish.

Independence Day

This was a different sort of Fourth for us. When we lived in UT, the Fourth was an amazing test of endurance. It began with an awesome block party on the afternoon and evening of the 3rd, followed by movies projected on the neighbors' house. There was the task of saving space on the parade route, arguing with police and generally going until you dropped and that was just the 3rd. The 4th began early by checking the coveted "reserved" parade spot to confirm that it was indeed still saved. Crepe breakfast courtesy of Leslie was not to be missed. The parade and all is wonderful chaos was next in the lineup. After hours of cheering and celebrating, we would retreat inside for a bit before heading to Sorensen's for their watermelon bust and then if we had any energy left, we might venture over for some tasty eats at the County buildings. Naps in the afternoon and visiting with friends was customary. And to top it all off, we would haul our camp chairs out into the street to watch the Stadium of Fire pyrotechnics display after dark., finally rolling into bed around midnight. I am exhausted just thinking about it. We did it though, every year for the last seven years we did it.
This year was different. On the evening of the 3rd, Jon went out with the Elders on splits until late and I made a pie for the BBQ the next day. Isn't it pretty?

The morning of the 4th was mellow with nothing planned. That's right... NOTHING!! I really didn't know what to do with myself. No parade to hit, no running around, nothing. We just vegetated until it was time to go to a BBQ in the evening.

E and Sam, as Uncle Sam(s)

Thanks to Kristen and family for the fabulous BBQ! I especially appreciated the time we took to talk about the Founding Fathers and Our Nations' history.

The company was fabulous, the food delicious and the view for the fireworks, unbeatable.

Fireworks over the Bay ~ View from the rooftop deck

As much as we missed the festivities in UT, this was a pretty terrific day. I actually spent some time reflecting on the holiday and the freedoms I enjoy. The fireworks were great. They were all up and down the Bay. I'm not adequately describing it, but it was a lot of fun.

Happy with Me - A Turning Point in my Life

This is a very personal post but I feel strongly that I need to publish it here for some reason.

At the beginning of the summer, while visiting family in UT, I had a bit of a breakdown. It just snuck up on me and knocked me flat on my back. Although short in duration (two days), it was a really difficult time for me. I felt so sad! I have never felt like that. Most of the time I think of myself as a happy, cheerful sort of person and I was just in the depths. (I imagine it was similar to what someone with depression feels like; definitely an eye-opener to me.) Jon was only with us for 3+ days and sadly I spent the last one in this funk. But before he headed home, we had a great discussion that helped me as I worked through things over the next couple of days. I just wanted to share what I learned about myself during that time and how it has changed me.

As I said, I was just sad; no other way to say it, just completely sad. I sat and watched my family and the kids and I felt nothing. For some reason, I just didn't like myself. I am not sure what triggered it, but when the switch flipped, I just became numb to happiness and felt such a raw, aching sadness, a loss for what? I didn't know. I called a good friend and she gave me a great piece of advice: let yourself feel it. Don't try to stop the emotion, just let yourself feel everything. It wasn't convenient. It wasn't fun, but it was good advice. It allowed me to be open to things I didn't want to see or feel, but by being open I was able to work through it instead of burying it.

If I explained everything I figured out, this post would be eternally long, so I will sum up.

I compare myself. Specifically I compare myself to everyone in my family. While visiting family, without even realizing it, I found something everyone else did that I felt was "better" than I could do. I wasn't giving myself any credit, just finding where I felt I fell short and magnifying it in my mind. It was so warped. Both of my sisters-in-law are pregnant and I was coming down on myself for not being pregnant, as though I somehow have control over that. I was even comparing my kids with their cousins. It was so mixed-up! In finding fault with myself, I had divided myself into little pieces and scattered them about leaving myself unwhole, broken if you will. In talking, Jon helped me to see things as they really are and helped me to see goodness in myself where my vision was temporarily clouded.

Another big one I figured out was that I still wanted my parents' approval. Actually, wanted is not entirely accurate. I needed my parents' approval. I messed up a lot as a teenager and I felt like I disappointed my parents so much. I hadn't dealt with that either. I haven't been a teenager for 14 years and I had left a little part of myself in that time.

When I recognized all these things and a few others, it was surprisingly easy to go in the other direction. It was a conscious choice, but not a difficult one. It wasn't something I just fixed, but I did change course immediately and started looking for things that I liked about myself. I realized that my parents love me and whether or not they approve of the choices I make is irrelevant. They love me. So many of things I worried about just don't matter. I can't control so much of what happens in life but the things I can control I do a pretty good job with. In fact, I do a lot of things well. And what I don't do well, I am learning to live with or improve where possible. The rest is extra. Now more than ever I feel like a whole person again. And being happy with me makes me smile, another thing I am good at.

Gunpowder Falls Hike and Prettyboy Dam

Another beautiful morning, another hike discovered. This was a little farther from our place, maybe 30 minutes outside the city. What a glorious hike it was, everything being so green and lush! The kids liked the hike for all the wildlife we encountered: fish, turtles, a snake, deer, a fox, a bald eagle and an osprey. It was amazing. I was in heaven with all the flora and fauna, so many mossy surfaces and the ferns! The ferns were so lovely and they were everywhere.

And the only people we saw on the hike were fishermen. One of them saw a copperhead on the trail earlier in the day. No thanks.

Orange day lilies! We had them at our home in UT and they were in all the neighbors' yards as well. Funny thing, they are everywhere here too. I get the impression they are indigenous to this area, specifically near the water. Ironic, since we came from a desert and they were in great abundance there too. Jon and I have agreed that nothing short of a nuclear bomb can kill them.

There is obviously a beaver living on this stretch of river although we didn't see a dam anywhere. The evidence he is there is overwhelming with trees felled every which way bearing the familiar markings of his prominent front teeth.

E was all about getting as far out into the river as possible. He's a pretty fun hiking partner these days and tough to keep up with too.

At the end of this gorgeous hike is the Prettyboy Dam. I just like it for its name. As far as dams go, its not terribly imposing, with vegetation growing right up against it. We found a great big slab to picnic on before heading back. Altogether a perfect hike with relatively few mishaps and plenty of good times.

Hello there. Aren't these tiny little toadstools amazing? They are so cheerful.

Lake Roland

We've been trying to find hikes near the city and have come across a couple great ones. There is a park, the Robert E. Lee park that has some great trails. The lake is quite large and you can hike around the entire perimeter. Today we went out for a couple of hours and made it about halfway around before finding a shortcut back.

I could not believe how green the forest was this morning. It has been a very wet spring and the vegetation was amazing! There were areas that were so thick that you couldn't see through the thicket.

Later in the hike, we started seeing thick vines hanging from the trees. Jon had the idea to test their strength with his own body weight. They held! We took turn doing Tarzan swings and jungle calls.

It is definitely a hike we will go back to again. Next time, I think we'll try for the whole way around the lake. I'll pack a picnic. You should come along.

Favorite Friday... Jon

I don't really need to post anything about why Jon is my favorite, but I am going to anyway.

He does quiet acts of service for me all the time. This morning, I was having a slow go at it and before I was even functioning really, he had unloaded and loaded the dishwasher. He didn't say anything, probably thought I didn't even notice, but I did.

Then he and E watered the patio plants. This may not seem like a lot, but instead of hauling multiple watering cans from the kitchen - which makes a terrible mess not to mention how heavy the cans can be, we've developed a system where we send a line down to the ground (the deck is ten feet up) and someone on the ground ties the hose to the line. When the hose is pulled up, the ground person turns it on and the deck person waters everything and sends it back. It takes time. Again, done quietly and without fanfare.

He makes the bed with me in the morning.

He rubs the insides of my forearms and hands when we watch movies (one of my favorite things).

He loves me even when my pants get too tight.

He kills bugs, scary ones, for me when I am freaking out in the bathroom.

He lets me go to UT or OH or wherever with the kids, while he stays home and works. He doesn't grumble about it, just tells me he misses me, how bored he is alone and wishes I were home.

He makes me laugh - everyday.

He is a gifted artist with a creative spirit. Don't believe me... check this out.

He's happy to see me when he comes home, even if he was happy to leave. ;)

He doesn't complain when I spend too much time on the computer ignoring him.

He compliments my cooking.

He is talented at everything he tries his hand at.

He watches the kids so I can go running on Saturday mornings. I can sometimes be gone for hours and he never says a word.

He makes the best waffles, bar none.

He downloads apps to my phone that he knows I would like.

He charges my phone when I forget.

He keeps gas in the car so I don't have to do it.

He is worthy of the Priesthood he holds.

He is a good man. I mean a truly amazing, kind, sincere person.

He's terribly handsome, even without all his hair.

He has an incredible work ethic. He is the hardest working person I know.

He spends everyday doing something that he loves and is passionate about.

He makes sure to leave me hot water for a shower and doesn't complain when I don't leave any for him.

He hangs up his towel after a shower.

He likes to experiment in the kitchen.

He'll watch chick-flicks with me.

He supports my need to organize.

He lets me rearrange the Netflix queue with whatever I want and doesn't change it, even if that means he will be watching my choices for weeks without a break.

He reads to Esther before bed, even though we are both tired and ready to relax for the night.

He is the quieter of the two of us and doesn't mind being in the background most of the time with me making a lot of noise front and center.

He can fix anything and he always - ALWAYS - does it the right way, no shortcuts.

He hates clutter as much as I do.

He is learning Italian with the rest of us.

He is my best friend.

I could go on and on all day, but...

Most of all, he loves me for who I am today. I couldn't ask for more than that.

Happy Anniversary

Taken at Jon's Graduation from BYU in '07

On Sunday Jon and I celebrated our 13th Anniversary! It was pretty chill. We played baseball with the kids in the park and finished the day with vanilla milkshakes and a movie.

Thing is, I can't figure out where thirteen years went. It just seems like a blink and not, if you know what I mean. We figured out that by the time we celebrate another thirteen, E will be 24 yrs. old and Sis will be 20!! Jon will have had his 50th birthday and I will have blown out 46 candles on my last cake. Then we will really be wondering where the time went. I am not going to get all sentimental here. I have saved that for my own personal journal, but suffice it to say, I am grateful for the life I have and for the last thirteen years with Jon. They have been beautiful and full. We have experienced so much. We've learned together, grown together and wanted to strangle each other at times. We've made a family together, run a business, finished school, restored a house, moved 2000 miles, had adventures and trials, laughed until our bellies ached and cried until our eyes were dry(okay that one is me). I had no idea life would be so much fun.

Jon gave me these drawings done by a classmate of his. I love Lawrence's work. I have wanted some of his art for awhile now and I was so happy to get these two.

The images are only 5"x5" with the paper being 7"x7". He paints with tea for the background and uses pencil for the illustration. Jon chose these two because they remind him of our kids. I would like to get a few more of his drawings before we leave school. They are wonderful.

First, in honor of E. Its a long story, very funny, and totally embarrassing. Maybe I'll post the video. (As I write this, E is jumping up and down behind me, begging me not to post the video, as he feels it will show him as "an insane kid who liked to put underwear all over his body for fun".) Let me just say, he was 9 and he called himself Underpants Man. I can still hear him shout, "Underpants Man to the rescue!" like it was yesterday. I will say, all the underwear used in the filming was clean, albeit used.

This drawing holds another little piece of significance for me. As a kid, my mother always told us to wear clean underwear. I know, I know... Everyone's mother taught them to wear clean underwear, but her reason was very specific. If we were in accident and had to go to the hospital, imagine how mortified she would be as a parent to have her child caught wearing dirty underwear. I have never forgotten that. It still makes me smile to think of it. And the inscription on the drawing says never forget. Don't worry mom, I still remember.

I didn't ask Jon what specifically he thought of with this one. The inscription across the bottom reads, Or the warm lonely wind that always blows across this place like a BOX FAN... Can you feel this? It's just lovely and carefree and a little bit magical. I know the pics don't do them justice. The detail is fantastic. I love how he uses tea as a watercolor. It's so warm, so organic, so simple.

Sleeping Companions

E was up early on Monday, like 5:00am early. Sis was asleep on the couch in their room and Claudio had made himself comfortable.

E found my phone to snap a pic as he thought it an unusual and funny site. (The light is a table light in their reading nook as it was still dark when he shot the pic.)
I love our pets! The hair drives me crazy, Jacks' especially, but life wouldn't be the same without them. They love their "kids" and their kids love them. What could be better than that?

Farmers' Market

The problem with farmers' markets out here is they are almost all on Sundays, the good ones anyway. This year my edible garden consists of one tomato plant and three peppers, plus oodles and oodles of herbs. Needless to say, I miss eating fresh. I love buying locally though and especially not having to hop in the car for a trip to the market.

While we were in UT, a new farmers' market started up just down the block from our house. Today was its second week and we decided to check it out. It's still small, but I have great hopes for it. I talked to my kids about how we can lessen the impact we have on the earth when we support efforts like this. I let them pick out the produce they wanted for the week and they helped carry everything home.

This is the loot that we picked up this week. The cabbage was from PA, but everything else we bought was from Essex MD, less than 30 minutes from our house! Its all organic and fairly priced. We used bags from home and walked. Right about now I am feeling extremely grateful for these delicious strawberries and the fact that the rain waited until we were home to enjoy them. And I would be lying if I said needed the dahlia... purely a want and I love it! Isn't she gorgeous!

Baseball Crazy

We are officially baseball crazy here. What we lack in equipment we make up for in enthusiasm. Don't laugh. Currently we have one ball, one mitt, and one bat - one little league sized bat I might add. (E's mitt got lost somewhere in the move and I believe Jack got ahold of a ball or two thinking they were his chew-toys. We have never had a good bat and I have never owned a mitt of mine own.) Just means we get a little more exercise chasing that fabulous lonely ball across the field.
I decided if I was going to remain sane through the summer it meant getting out and doing things with the kids. Just a few blocks from the house there is a park that is big enough to hit the ball around. There are two fields, one (below) with little grass and the other (above) lush and green. We've been trying to spend some time everyday at the field playing ball and as the weather has been wonderfully cool, turns out we've been spending a lot of time at the field.
E's got a great arm on him. How did I not know this before now? Seriously, the kid can throw. Sis' face lights up everytime she gets a hit or makes a great throw. And I LOVE to hit the ball. I love to throw, catch, hit and run deep when one of the kids gets a piece of it. I love baseball. How did I forget this?

The $500 Accident

Funny how things can change in such a short time; how one can go from feeling so happy and so blessed to feelings of anger and frustration, irritation and contention. Pretty much I've figured out today it comes from a lack of gratitude on my part and losing the Spirit in some measure.

To preface things, I'll share our Saturday with you.  MICA had an open studio weekend where anyone could come into the studios of the students and look at their art and purchase it if they desired. I had prayed all week that Jon would be successful in this and that he would be able to sell a painting or two. He had also been working on these lovely notebooks/ journals (I'll post a pic when I get one) that I hoped would sell too. Well, Saturday came and to sum up, Jon was able to sell two paintings and a journal. What a fantastic success! (As students we are on a very small and sometimes non-existent budget. And regardless of Jon's efforts, he has not been able to secure summer employment which made selling some art even more important.) Another little bonus was still to come. As it is the end of the semester, the undergraduate and post-baccalaureate students clear out their spaces and there is treasure to be found. We went from floor to floor finding whatever there was that was worth keeping. The goods were random, some paints for the kids, materials for Jon, gift wrapping boxes but it was great fun. We finished the day feeling very blessed and happy with life.

Now onto the second act. Here's the story and I'll be brief. On Sunday, Jon spoke in sacrament mtg. (and did a great job BTW). We parked in the parking lot and went straight into the chapel. During the next meeting, SSchool, we discovered the key fob was missing. Not to worry. Jon hadn't been anywhere other than the chapel and the overflow, where SS is taught so we were certain we would find it quickly. As it turns out, things didn't go quite like we had hoped. After looking the building over we were unable to find it. Nothing we did turned up the key. The day finished with the car being left in the lot. On Monday little could be done as it was a holiday, so we spent our time figuring out what it would cost to replace the fob and it wasn't pretty. In addition to this little irritation, we were told about our friends' sadness with losing their baby. It wasn't a great day as these things go. 

Today... We decided to call a locksmith to open the car today. I was sure the key had to be in the car. Their was no other explanation as to how it could disappear so completely. $50 later, the car is opened, no key. The church building searched again, no key. Only choice - tow the car, $120 later, to the dealer and have a new key ordered, to the tune of roughly $350. All said, the paintings that sold Saturday made it possible to order the key and pay cash, but that's about it. So today I have been impossible. I have red puffy eyes from crying with frustration and my poor kids have been yelled at for basically nothing. After a chat with my sister and a nap, I felt much more centered. The thing that really put things in perspective was the blessing over our dinner that E gave. He thanked the Lord for all the goodness he has blessed us with, namely a home to keep us safe and food on our table. He went on to say thank you for clearing away any obstacles to our getting our key made. He thanked God for helping us to get the car open and for discovering the key not to be there and for us being able to get it towed and the order processed. All the things I had been cursing God for all day, he was giving thanks for. He opened my eyes and filled them with tears to a better perspective. So in the end, I am grateful, not for the key having been lost, but for a son who has a much greater understanding of how God works in our life and how blessed we truly are in our small adversities. I am happy to finish the day in a positive light with hope that things will work out in the end.  

Heartache

Today Jon and I got some tragic news. Some dear friends of ours were expecting their first child and this afternoon they called to tell us they had lost him. She was just a few weeks from her due date. My heart aches for them and their loss. I tried to explain in to Sis, but she didn't understand. She just kept asking when she would get to see the baby and what his name was. I felt so helpless at the news. 

After pondering it this evening I have found a measure of peace. Our friends have hope and will try again to have a child after some time has passed. I don't know why things like this happen, but I do know that the Lord is near in situations like these. I honestly don't know the faith of my friends but I hope they can feel the peace of the Lord through this sad time.